Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
