The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
