Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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