He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
