It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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