Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
