I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
