Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
