Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
