We're facebook friends in real life
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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