forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
