So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize