can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
