i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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