So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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