dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
