I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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