Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
