You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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