i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
