so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
