How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
