I wish my penis had an off switch
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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