My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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