Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
