This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
