Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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