my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
