We're like a lot better than the average bears
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
