i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
