Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
