Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
