ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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