On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize