Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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