I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
