I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
