i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
