i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
