how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Holy shit dude........stairs
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