he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize