I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize