i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
