I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
