This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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