Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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