so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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