Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
