Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
