I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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