just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
