Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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