he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Im part way to drunk.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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