@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
