So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
