Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just forgot I was standing up.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
