Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
