Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
