We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
