Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize