thus making me awesome and them whores
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
