She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
