Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
