They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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