oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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