this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
