I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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