Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize