super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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