Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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