He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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