Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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