Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize