ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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