When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
