Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
