stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
