you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize