I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize