Kiss
Puke
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
